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I remember when I first decided I wanted to be a writer. I was eleven years old, and I thought Anne McCaffrey was the best thing I'd ever read or WOULD ever read; and I thought to myself, I want to make someone feel the way I feel now. I loved dragons, but more than dragons I wanted to write about music, and flight, and overcoming odds.

Sadly (sadly?), that last part hasn't changed.

But when I was eleven, twelve, thirteen, all I knew about writing was that you had to spell things right, and that complete sentences weren't as important as elementary school teachers wanted you to think. When I was fifteen, I was a Good Writer, No Really.

Then at sixteen, I started sporking Mary Sues, and reading books about writing, and articles about writing.

It was good for me, in the long run: I needed to improve, and my ego was so swelled at that point that I couldn't. So I don't wish that I'd never read those essays, and I don't wish that I'd never looked critically at my writing. On the whole, I'm the better for it.

But there are some times when I look over my really, really old work, and I see my younger self doing good things--subconsciously, utterly unaware that they are good. Things that I can't do now without some sort of planning.

I feel like Lyra at the end of The Amber Spyglass. I hate having to relearn things I used to just know.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-02-01 11:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tabular-rasa.livejournal.com
But there are some times when I look over my really, really old work, and I see my younger self doing good things--subconsciously, utterly unaware that they are good. Things that I can't do now without some sort of planning.
Arggh yes. I miss living on instinct alone.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-02-02 12:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] silverfyre.livejournal.com
I agree too. Every so often I look back at my own work and wonder if I could ever write things like that even if I tried.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-02-02 07:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] electrumqueen.livejournal.com
anne mccaffrey~ <3

writing is so hard ><''

(no subject)

Date: 2010-02-03 02:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sakuracorr.livejournal.com
WORD. Just like, exactly this. It makes me sad sometimes.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-02-03 02:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cellardoorsky.livejournal.com
I think it happens? We look back on old work and wonder if we can do things just as well as we used to, but there's a lot of things we're doing even better now without realizing it. We just need to take a step back, and a closer more careful look at our work. ♥

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-10 09:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] abovejoy.livejournal.com
The more you corrupt the originality of innocence that not knowing brings, the harder it becomes to go back to that. But if you think about it, maybe all you lost was the feeling for it, maybe you improved the structure and forgot what fills it.
Haha, (: I'm just a random intruder :P but in my case, I began writing at eleven, by thirteen I felt like I had lost my touch, but it was probably just the hormones. Now I'm still just fifteen, but I'm actually able to look at what I need and to just write out what I feel like writing. I have this habit of staring off into space and letting words flow as I type.
Try that, (: type anything that comes to you. Even if it's just small poem fragments, a small paragraph.
<3

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