ihrketayhl: (Default)
[personal profile] ihrketayhl
*points to subject*

1. Goodbyes suck.

Moving away is like dying, except the people you leave can't be properly sad about it, because after all, nothing's wrong with you and you'll be back someday, right? Except it won't ever be the same: you'll spend any time you get together catching up because you're not part of the other person's life the way you were anymore, and you never will be, ever.

I sound so fucking melodramatic. God. I hate it when you care about people in ways that you can't express without really creeping them out. How do you tell someone they defined your place in the universe?

2. Fundies suck.

Let's talk about cults.

Let's talk about things that are not called cults.

Let's talk about things that are mainstream, widespread, defended by our very government.

Let's talk about a kid I know who is creative, talented, and compassionate, who thinks he is fundamentally flawed for being attracted to men.*

Let's talk about a kid I know who willingly stifles her own intelligence because she doesn't want to come to any logical conclusions.*

Let's talk about a kid I know who has so little self-worth that she thinks she deserves to be a doormat.*

Let's talk about my rapidly escalating frustration with humanity.

*Not someone on LJ, although I suppose I'd say that even if it were. Anyway, fact remains.

3. So does everything else right now.

I think one of the fundamental struggles in my life has been coming to terms with the idea of failing. Not at everything: just at one thing. At anything. Human beings fail, no matter how hard they try. Figuring out what you fail at is as much a part of you as figuring out what you succeed at.

That said: I don't think I'm going to fail, this time. And I'm worried that it might be the worst thing I've ever done to myself.
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