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To me of six years ago:
Making B refer to himself as "mortal" and "imperfect" does not in fact make it seem like he's blinded by A's (the other character in the scene) "perfection" or whatever the fuck you were going for. It just makes you, and B, look like hugely pretentious dorks, actual pretentious dorkitude notwithstanding. Also it sounds retarded.
Exasperated love,
You, six years later
P.S. Is there a REASON A's eyes arerose crimson ruby scarlet blood-colored red, or did you just want to use all those synonyms? IT IS WORSE THAN YOUR ABUSE OF "TAWNY," SELF. WORSE.
Making B refer to himself as "mortal" and "imperfect" does not in fact make it seem like he's blinded by A's (the other character in the scene) "perfection" or whatever the fuck you were going for. It just makes you, and B, look like hugely pretentious dorks, actual pretentious dorkitude notwithstanding. Also it sounds retarded.
Exasperated love,
You, six years later
P.S. Is there a REASON A's eyes are