Some things I need to get off my chest.

[ihrketayhl]

*points to subject*

1. Goodbyes suck.

Moving away is like dying, except the people you leave can't be properly sad about it, because after all, nothing's wrong with you and you'll be back someday, right? Except it won't ever be the same: you'll spend any time you get together catching up because you're not part of the other person's life the way you were anymore, and you never will be, ever.

I sound so fucking melodramatic. God. I hate it when you care about people in ways that you can't express without really creeping them out. How do you tell someone they defined your place in the universe?

2. Fundies suck.

Let's talk about cults.

Let's talk about things that are not called cults.

Let's talk about things that are mainstream, widespread, defended by our very government.

Let's talk about a kid I know who is creative, talented, and compassionate, who thinks he is fundamentally flawed for being attracted to men.*

Let's talk about a kid I know who willingly stifles her own intelligence because she doesn't want to come to any logical conclusions.*

Let's talk about a kid I know who has so little self-worth that she thinks she deserves to be a doormat.*

Let's talk about my rapidly escalating frustration with humanity.

*Not someone on LJ, although I suppose I'd say that even if it were. Anyway, fact remains.

3. So does everything else right now.

I think one of the fundamental struggles in my life has been coming to terms with the idea of failing. Not at everything: just at one thing. At anything. Human beings fail, no matter how hard they try. Figuring out what you fail at is as much a part of you as figuring out what you succeed at.

That said: I don't think I'm going to fail, this time. And I'm worried that it might be the worst thing I've ever done to myself.

Comments

[tabular-rasa.livejournal.com]

How do you tell someone they defined your place in the universe?
I hate the way our culture tells us we have to hold people, even close friends, at arm's length. That certain things are inappropriate to say, even if you feel them. It's sad that expressing the love I really do feel for friends and loved ones is considered by so many to be dramatic, over-the-top, obsessive, or even creepy.

[vareth-is.livejournal.com]

I dunno; on some level I think it should be hard to say that sort of thing. It's like in writing. If it comes easy, you're not feeling it enough.

[silverfyre.livejournal.com]

I completely agree! (I feel like I'm doing that with a lot of your posts lately, lol) It's too bad really, I wonder if we'd all feel a bit more loved if people were more comfortable expressing their love for each other. I have that problem mainly with saying "I love you" to my friends, because I *do* love them and want them to know that, but I don't want them to be creeped out by it, or think I don't really mean it.

Also Jessy, I am all over #1. I'm moving from a house with 4 of my closest friends, to a nearby apartment with a girl I recently met. And it is making me very sad. But my roommates aren't concerned at all, they just say they will see me all the time, it won't be different. But it WILL be different- we'll be busy, our schedules don't match, and even when I do see them it won't be the same as being their roommate.

[tehkiwidelight.livejournal.com]

Who is #1 referencing? *HUGS*

And I'm worried that it might be the worst thing I've ever done to myself.

I have no idea what to say to this besides do it to the best of your abilities and plow through until it's done. &hearts:

[vareth-is.livejournal.com]

>>Who is #1 referencing?

D, from my work. I was hired to be a D-2, to help her out and basically be as much like her as possible in terms of work ethic, attitude and ability. And I did so. And a month ago she told me she was moving to PA, and two weeks ago she told the company. Wednesday was her last day.

*hugs back* &hearts I miss your face, Kiriban.

[tehkiwidelight.livejournal.com]

D: I miss your face too-ban. ♥